Last night I had that recurring dream again. You know, the one where I've murdered a pensioner and concealed her body about the house but I'm bricking it 'cause now I have to dispose of the body. Every time I have this dream I devise a new and ingenious method of disposing of the corpse. Last night my idea was to rot off the flesh in my composter, then get rid of one bone at each campsite in the country. It was brilliant - the kids love camping. I'd drop the bones in remote lakes, bury them in forests, perhaps at one of the more 'lively' campsites I could leave the skull in a Karaoke bar. Then I woke up, as I always do, distraught and absolutely believing in this shitty nightmare. It takes me up to an hour to figure out it's not real.
What's the dream about? I looked up 'bones' on a dream interpretation website and it said they represent secrets that I fear being revealed. Neat. Except that I don't think I have any secrets, except possibly from those nonogenarian relatives whose heart attacks I don't want on my conscience. And they're deaf anyway. They'd probably think I said "Tree in a Shed".
Nah, I reckon I'm psychic. The dream of distributing bones around the kingdom echoes that medieval thing where the king dies and you have to take his body to different parts of his realm. So like duh, obviously the queen is about to die.
You heard it here first.
Oh, and has anyone got any ovaltine I could try?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment