Reasons To Be Cheerless

1. We had the most grim fish ever for tea. It was yuck. Foul. Bleargh.
2. The house two doors down from us is for sale. It has a garage, two toilets and more space than a matchbox. It is £2 more than our shitpit.
3. Clicked on BBC news - transpires that taking vitamins can shorten your life.
4. I am supposed to be saving that bottle of wine until Friday.